Okay, okay. The headline is ridiculous. Or as some might say, redonkulous. Who says that? Anyway, the first week of the Major League Baseball season is over and what do you know? The Rockies and Tigers are tied for first! Does it mean anything? Absolutely not.
The Yankees are off to one of their worst starts in team history at 2-4. They started 2-4 in 1998, only to win 114 games and the World Series that season. So Pinstripes' Faithful , don't worry, your club will be fine. Don't start calling for Joe Torre's head yet. Not this year.
In Boston, the fans are happy. Chowderheads everywhere are excited by their team's pizzazz on the road. And their pitching. But mostly the pizzazz. The new lineup seems to be working well so far. If Schilling and Beckett can both stay healthy, this team could be a serious threat to win the division and the World Series. If they don't, well, it might not be so easy. Jonathan Papelbon has been solid out of the 'pen, closing out three games. Foulke is done. Ladies and gentlemen, Jonathan Papelbon.
The Blue Jays are eagerly awaiting a healthy AJ Burnett. Cubs' fans are also eagerly awaiting a World Series. Neither of them will happen anytime soon. Have no fear, Canadian baseball fans, the Jays aren't bad. The Devil Rays actually possess some talent on that roster, so losing two of three to them at home isn't that bad. Or is it?
The Orioles are terrible.
Like I said, the Devil Rays aren't that bad. They've been slowly improving over the last few seasons. Remember that 12-game winning streak they had in 2004? There might've been more or fewer wins in that winning streak, but who's counting?
The Indians are scorching hot. Shocking! I told you! *Rattles fists* They are going to be so tough. They have a great rotation and, if CC Sabathia can come back and perform, they will be nasty. That lineup floats like a butterfly but stings like a bee. And when I say bee I mean Travis Hafner is amazing. What?
Detroit is off to a grand ol' start. Forty-two runs in six games? That's a lot, old boy, but it will slow down when they face good pitching. They have tooled on Kansas City and Texas to storm out to a 5-1 record. Kansas City. And Texas. The Royals. And the Rangers. Last year at Kaufmann Stadium, my brother and I chanted "Minor Leaguer" whenever the next Royal hitter came to the plate. Needless to say the Royals beat the Red Sox that night, 7-4.
AL Central powerhouse Kansas City is sitting pretty in third place. At 2-3. Soon they will be sitting pretty in last place. At 55-107.
The Chicago White Sox are off to a rough start. They haven't had the easiest schedule around, but you win with the cards you're given. They'll be back into the swing of winning soon enough. Their rotation is way too good to allow a major drop-off from last season.
And the Twins. Oh, the Twins.
Out West Oakland is doing well. They have the pitching to beat anyone. They have the youth to actually care about winning.
The Angels are off to a so-so start. Colon was rocked last night by the Yankees. But they can't be worried. It's April 10. If they are still .500 in August or September, then I will buy you some sweet TexMex. Yeah, TexMex.
The Seattle Mariners have played seven meaningless games. They have 155 left on their schedule.
Texas is off to a fantastic start at 2-5. Every game has been at home. I bet they can't wait to get out on the open road, kick back and lose 10 straight.
To the National League, or the Senior Circuit. Who calls it that?
The Mets are off to a good start. Four wins and a brawl. Pedro loves the high heat. Apparently Jose Guillen doesn't feel the same way. Oh well, Tommy Glavine pitched well last night. If he didn't have a glass arm, I might actually get excited. The Miracle Mets return? Try the Mediocre Mets Underachieve by July!
Atlanta -- a team often referred to as "Hotlanta" by yours truly -- has scored 53 runs in their first seven games. 53! How many have they allowed? 53. Hence, they are 3-4.
Washington is 2-4 and rearing to go. They look poised to dominate that third place spot in the NL East. Soriano looks great in left. But RFK looks like it should host the World Cup Final, not a baseball game. The outfield is bigger than my neighborhood.
Florida is one half-game ahead of Philly for fourth place. How long will that last? Probably until Wednesday. If they can't win when Dontrelle Willis takes the ball, then when can they win?
The answer is not often.
Philly is off to a rough start but that won't last. They have some quality talent on their team to at least keep them competitive into July and August. Wait, is this post from last year? Or the year before?
The Brew Crew is off to its best start in recent memory. 5-1! They have the staff to win games and a decent, young lineup to really brew some trouble. Awful joke. I hate myself. Watch these guys go at it, they can play with anyone.
The Cardinals showed America exactly how to lose a game last night when Jason Isringhausen walked the bases loaded, served up a meatball to Michael Barrett and then his teammates let him down on three straight plays. The result? The Heat King himself Scott Williamson gets the win for the Cubbies who are now 4-1.
The Cubs are 4-1. Their lineup looks pretty solid so far. The trick is staying healthy.
Cincinnati rolled out to a 4-2 start. But when your rotation features Aaron Harang and Dave Williams, you are probably in trouble. Or at least you will be at some point in the season.
Houston has rocketed out to a 4-2 start as well, without the Rocket. I am on fire today. Pun intended. It's only a matter of time before Preston Wilson flames out and the Astros realize their average age is like 38.5 years old. Number of fire, space and explosive references in a four-sentence blurb: 4. That's nice.
And the Pirates. Sitting at 1-6, they are ready to start their home season today against the Dodgers. I don't think this start is really telling of the team's potential. But it could be a daunting omen of what's to come. Stay tuned.
To the West, where San Francisco is wearing flowers in its proverbial hair. What does that mean? The Giants are eagerly awaiting Barry Bonds' first home run. I am, however, more eagerly awaiting the results of the Major League's investigation of the juiced-up slugger.
The Colorado Rockies are 4-2. Yeah, I said it. 4-2. Soon to be 70-92, but who's counting? It's nice to have some winning in Denver -- A real baseball city. Haha.
The Dodgers have started off in mediocre form. They are 3-3. The countdown until Nomar's season-ending injury has begun.
The Diamondbacks, America's Most Watched Team, are also 3-3. The D-Backs pitchers have only allowed 18 runs in those six games, good for first place in Team ERA in the Majors.
And finally, the Padres are in last. With a whopping 19 runs scored in their first five games, the bats are alive in San Diego! Jake Peavy was rocked last night. The Fathers will come around. Just wait. Just you wait.
So after a week of baseball, I am predicting a Rockies-Tigers World Series. Awesome. I am also projecting my victory in this week's Powerball. There's a reason nobody puts me in charge of anything.
See you soon folks.
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Best Bud’s
14 years ago
