Jesus Saves?

Can Ray Allen -- also known as Jesus Shuttlesworth in He Got Game -- save the Celtics?

In a knee-jerk deal to appease frustrated Celtics star Paul Pierce, Danny Ainge dealt Wally Szczerbiak, Delonte West and the Celtics' No. 5 Draft pick to Seattle for Ray Allen and the Sonics' No. 35 Draft pick.

With the deal, the Sonics told the Celtics to take Georgetown's Jeff Green. So they did. And the Celtics took LSU's Glen Davis with the 35th pick.

The C's moved Wally World's colossal contract. He never really did anything for me in a Celtics uniform.

But they also took on a big contract of an aging shooting guard in Allen. He's due $26 million over the next two seasons.

When that contract runs out, Jesus will be 34.

34!

And Pierce will be 32.

So much for building around young talent. Delonte West and the No. 5 pick might combine to be better players than a 33-year-old Ray Allen.

In the meantime, the Celtics will now feature this crew of players:

PG Rajon Rondo/Sebastian Telfair/(Pick No. 32) Gabe Pruitt
SG Ray Allen/Tony Allen/Allan Ray
SF Paul Pierce/Gerald Green
PF Al Jefferson/Ryan Gomes/Brian Scalabrine/Glen Davis/Leon Powe
C Kendrick Perkins/Theo Ratliff
*Michael Olowokandi is an unrestricted free agent

Allen, Pierce and Jefferson form a decent three-man core of the team. If, and that's a big if, Rondo, Telfair, Allen, Green, Gomes and Perkins keep developing, the C's might be a playoff spot contender.

But in the Eastern Conference, a team attains a playoff spot with 40 wins. So that begs greater questions.

What kind of Celtics fan are you?

Can you be satisfied for the next two years with a team that wins 40-50 games in a conference weaker than ever?

Can you enjoy a team's postseason when it ends in the first or second round two years in a row?

I'm sorry, but I can't. I want rings. I was born in 1986, the last year the Celtics won a title. In 1987, when I was in diapers, they won a conference title.

I watched the Celtics reach the 2002 Eastern Conference finals. But I also watched Ainge come in and screw it all up. He said he was rebuilding the team around Pierce. And so they started drafting young studs like high schoolers Al Jefferson, Gerald Green and Kendrick Perkins.

Ainge wanted Celtics fans to be patient. And we were. He kept adding weapons.

Rajon Rondo, a rookie this past season, turned into a promising young player. Ryan Gomes, a second-round steal in the 2005 NBA Draft, molded into a productive bench player. Gerald Green developed into a confident wing player with lots of potential still waiting to be realized. Kendrick Perkins turned into an efficient rebounder and post presence with some maturing left in his tank.

And Al Jefferson became one of the best scoring big men in the Eastern Conference.

We were patient when Ainge told us to be patient.

And then he pulled the trigger on a deal that clearly shouts, "We are going to try to win now to make an unhappy, whiny Paul Pierce, who sat out half the season with an injury that my grandma could play through, happy again."

So then Danny thinks, "I'm going to deal away one of my team's most promising young players and the fifth pick in the deepest draft in NBA history for an aging star who just had two of his ankles repaired by surgery."

A lot of four-letter words climb to the tip of my tongue.

Perhaps the most harmless word of them all is "quit."

I quit.

I am not a Celtics fan anymore. I will not watch them anymore. I can't handle it. I'm furious.

The 2007-2008 season will shake out in the following way:

Pierce and Allen each average 25 points. Jefferson gives us 20 and 10, maybe more. And Tony Allen and Gerald Green continue to suffer blows to their development because aging stars demand 40 minutes a night. And the Celtics win 45 games.

Wow.

Forty-five games! That is so worth it!

And when the buzzer sounds in Game 5 of the first round demolition of this C-list team by Insert Stale Eastern Conference Opponent Here, we won't be patient.

We'll be mad. And Danny Ainge might become a patient.