West Point, East Hartford, Rhode Island and more

I'm going to do three things.

1) I'm going to rip off Bill Simmons and give you my running diary of my ride from Pittsburgh to Rhode Island with Ken.
2) Then I'll give you the rundown of the UConn-Pitt football game on Saturday and the Western Michigan-Pitt basketball game Sunday. I was lucky enough to be in attendance at both contests.
3) Then I'll rip off my favorite sportswriter, Bill Reynolds, and hit you with some bullet points to end things.

To the ripping off!
4:55 (Anywhere, Pa.) -- After purchasing delicious wintergreen Skoal to pack a sweet lip, Larry the Cable Guy nearly kills Ken and me with his Ford F-150 in the Sheetz parking lot. And yes, he ain't got no boundaries -- he don't compromise.

5:19 (Anywhere, Pa.) -- At this point, all of Pennsylvania looks the same. Although, when doesn't all of Pennsylvania look the same? I suppose that applies to every state in the country. The conversation shifts to the subtle differences between Scranton and Wilkes-Barre -- it's gonna be a long ride. Ken mentions the critical point that the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Airport is in neither Scranton nor Wilkes-Barre, but it's actually in the neutral town of Avoca, Pa. Go figure.

5:20 (Just east of No-One-Knows-This-Place-Exists, Pa.) -- Rick Santorum Sign #5. This is awkward. And mildly hilarious.

5:25 (Apparently somewhere in the Chesepeake Bay Watershed) -- Well, I'm glad to finally be in the Chesepeake Bay Watershed. I guess that means...what? Is this Cal Ripken, Jr. Country?

5:25 (Central Pa.) -- Murphy Lee's "What Tha Hook Gon' Be?" plays. Ken responds to this line -- "I'm basically comin' from nothin' to somethin'/when I say nothin' meanin' pockets full of lint and buttons" -- with a classic, "Man, that really is nothin'."

5:30 (Can't Cars Drive Any Faster, Pa.?) -- Highest point east of the Mississippi River on I-80. Stop the presses!

5:32 (Do These People Have Computers, Pa.?) -- Conversation hits the K-Fed and Britney controversy. Ken enters the No-Spin Zone and kicks it like Tae Bo -- "K-Fed's really going for the jugular!" Typing can't capture the excitement in his voice when he said that.

6:02 (Snowshoe, Pa.) -- Ken's 8-year-old girl bladder forces rest stop #6. Snowshoe, Pa.'s 2002 George Carlin Look-A-Like Contest winner holds the door into the building for me. Should I ask him for his autograph? Where the hell is Snowshoe, Pa.?

6:38 (Loganton, Pa.) -- We just called our friend Alex -- we have to know where Cracker Barrel is.

7:21 (Bloomsburg, Pa.) -- Two NASCAR, two guns rights and two Rick Santorum stickers must mean it's Cracker Barrel time. One word: Delicious. More on this later.

7:55 (Bloomsburg, Pa.) -- Thirty-four minutes and 25 pounds of chicken'n'dumplings later, we hit the road full. When God created food, his first creation was Cracker Barrel's cornbread.

8:45 (Scranton, Pa.) -- We're stopped at Uni-Mart in Scranton, Pa. No sign of Steve Carell yet, but there is a sweet economically-downtrodden city in our sights!

9:56 (Port Jervis, N.Y.) -- Bambi still hasn't found his mom. I've seen her at least 8 times...she really shouldn't sleep on the highway shoulder like that...

11:05 (the New York-Connecticut border) -- Ray Romano impression #29...yep, still funny.

11:35 (Danbury, Conn.) -- Debate ensues about whether or not the guy in the Danbury, Conn. rest stop was, in fact, an angel.

So I might as well talk about the three entries I've written for Rhode Island on Friday...

12:36 (Warwick, R.I.) -- Yep, still downtrodden!

12:42 (Warwick, R.I.) -- Chin-straps and 37 pounds of gel for everyone! Hey, they even have the sweet fades with the pencil-thin sideburns. Sweet 'burns, Enzo.

12:58 (Providence, R.I.) -- Horrible Driving Manuever #236. There's a reason Rhode Island is regularly rated the worst driving state in the country. We've only been awake in Rhode Island for three hours, and we've almost been killed twice.

Needless to say, we made it back safely. Kudos to Jonathan and Amy Greer for their hospitality.

And now, the Bill Reynolds ripping off!

-- Dave Wannstedt is in major trouble. His honeymoon with Pitt ended as UConn's quarterback D.J. Hernandez waltzed untouched into the Panther end zone on a 2-point conversion to beat Pitt, 46-45 in double overtime.

-- Or did it end when we blew the 14-point fourth-quarter lead?

-- Or did it end as Notre Dame murdered Pitt at Heinz Field in Wannstedt's debut?

-- I'll go with the last option. It's been downhill since the guy came here.

-- I can't talk about Pitt football without mentioning how sad it is to watch them. It's like watching baby sea turtles trying to crawl their way into the ocean only to be miserably pecked apart by seagulls. It's always such an arduous trek in that sand.

-- Pitt basketball is for real. They are better than any team the school has ever put out before...ever. Carl Krauser is a welcomed departure in my mind.

-- Aaron Gray might be the goofiest kid in college basketball.

-- Levance Fields has to be the most talkative player in the country. And he doesn't hold back either. It's nice sitting courtside, you hear things you normally wouldn't from the press box.

-- Nothing was sweeter than watching Jamie Dixon and his team win on an emotional high. It speaks to the team's relationship with Jamie if they want to win that badly at the Maggie Dixon Classic.

-- This team has potential to make the Final Four. Go ahead, roll your eyes. Tell me I'm too optimistic. Tell me that they don't have Carl Krauser anymore. Tell me they can't break the curse. But believe it or not, this offense is revamped and at a much higher octane than any other team in the past. They can score from anywhere, with anyone, at any time. They can run and gun or they can slow it down and bang inside. If you don't believe me, just wait. When they are cutting down the nets and heading to Atlanta for the Final Four with a regional title under their belts, we'll see who's laughing.

-- West Point, N.Y., is a beautiful Hudson Valley town. And the Hudson Valley is incredibly aesthetic.

-- I don't what's more exciting: Waiting to hear what Dave Wannstedt could possibly say after his team choked against one of the worst teams in the Big East, or wondering what delicious contraptions the media relations folks at any location will muster up. I'll go with a tie -- I love a coach on the hot seat...but I also love a delicious chicken parm.

-- George W. Bush is going to have a rough two years.

-- After everyone on ESPN jumped on the Arizona bandwagon, effectively sweeping Pitt under the contention rug, the Wildcats lost to Virginia to start their season. Sean Singletary and a new arena made all the difference for the Cavaliers. But still, Virginia? Call me in March when yet another overrated Arizona team is bounced out after one weekend.

-- I've heard enough about Florida. Let's see who wins Nov. 25 when Kansas and Florida meet in Vegas. I'll catch that tip at 9 p.m. because I'll be in that Mountain Time Zone. You guys back east can see it at 11 p.m. Watch it -- it's worth staying up.

-- I want to see Borat.

-- That's it for this guy. See you guys soon. And as always, check www.pittnews.com and www.wpts.org/live for me.

Here is my broadcasting schedule:
Mondays at 9 a.m.
Wednesday Nov. 15 at 7 p.m. Pitt women's basketball vs. California (Pa.)
Friday Nov. 17 at 5 p.m. Pitt men's basketball vs. Northeastern

Click on that WPTS-Pittsburgh link and you'll hear me.

Take it easy, folks.