NFL Week Seven Picks

As Scooby Doo would say, "Rut roh." Meaning, I can't believe it's already Week Seven of the NFL season. I haven't unpacked my jackets yet, winter, slow down. Anyway, I had a rough week picking margins of victory, but what else is new? I'm sitting pretty in picking winners, handling a sweet 52-19 record so far. My margins of victory record, however, is a lowly 34-37. Call me crazy, but I do better picking the winners.

To the games...

JACKSONVILLE at Houston -- Nothing beats starting off the picks with an easy one. Jacksonville is more physical than two college kids on a dance floor. And that's pretty physical. Houston can't handle that kind of power and physicality. Plus, as is the case every week, I want to compare Byron Leftwich to Kenan from Kenan and Kel. I really wish he spelled it K-E-E-N-A-N. But he doesn't. What's a blogger to do? Jacksonville by seven.

Carolina at CINCINNATI -- I need to keep picking Cincinnati, because my oddsmaker, i.e. my brain, thinks the Bengals have to win soon. The Panthers are looking real tough with Steve Smith back, but I like the Stripes at home. They're due. Cincinnati by three.

NEW ENGLAND at Buffalo -- Buffalo is like that team that no one really remembers, that kind of shows up and plays well occasionally, and then other times, they are awful. You know, think Nebraska's basketball team. They'll probably offer a .500 or sub-.500 record, but they somehow perform in certain tough games. But the Pats will win, by seven.

Pittsburgh at ATLANTA -- I'm not, nor will I ever be, on the Steelers bandwagon this year. I can't handle the idea that somehow after beating THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS, at Heinz Field, by 38 points, the Steelers are going to right the ship here in Pittsburgh. My great aunt Helen could throw two touchdown passes against that secondary. By no means am I counting the Steelers' season out, but I like the Falcons at home, by three points.

Philadelphia at TAMPA BAY -- The Eagles are on a slippery slope. They'll recover balance back home, but the Bucs look great with Bruce Gradkowski. I actually spoke to Cadillac Williams this week before the game, and he told me, "Ya'll knah how we do dahn sawt, we gon' git it pawppin'." Yeah, he never said that. But the Bucs take it by three.

Detroit at NEW YORK JETS -- How embarrassing is it to be a Bills fan? So embarrassing that losing to the Lions doesn't even bother them. Or does it? Maybe the Lions have found their groove. And maybe you've heard of Millard Fillmore. Jets by 10.

Green Bay at MIAMI -- I won't lie -- I don't like Brett Favre. He should retire now, and spare us all the media hooplah surrounding his story. In the meantime, I really need Greg Jennings to score a few touchdowns and get about 150 yards receiving. But at home, I like Joey and company. Yes, I just said that. No, I'm not currently checking into a mental hospital. Fins by four.

SAN DIEGO at Kansas City -- Even in that atmosphere, I like the Chargers. I don't quite have a grip on it yet, but there's something about the Bolts that I didn't like the last few weeks. I don't get that Super Bowl Champ feel about them. Then again, I did pick a Twins-Padres World Series. But I like the Chargers in this game. Let's say they win it by seven.

DENVER at Cleveland -- The Browns stink. The Broncos defense is ferocious. And no, I didn't just say that so I could use 'ferocious.' They will shut off the Browns offense, which is easier to turn off than a girl when you recite your favorite toilet jokes. I guess it also depends on the girl. Bad analogy? Broncos by 10.

Minnesota at SEATTLE -- I will always take the Seahawks at home. Seattle by four.

ARIZONA at Oakland -- My fantasy team normally starts the Chicago defense, but they have a bye. This weekend's starter? Arizona. I'm expecting big things. Cards by 10.

Washington at INDY -- The Colts are similar to my aforementioned opinion of the Seahawks at home. Colts by three.

New York Giants at DALLAS -- I don't know which team to expect in Dallas: the Giants who came back against Philly and dominated Atlanta, or the Giants whose secondary was torched by Seattle. I'll say the latter will show up in Dallas. 'Boys by five.

There they are. The picks of the century. Or at least for Week Seven. Make sure you do three things:

1) Watch the World Series (I'd say Tigers in six games but I don't want to jinx them. Crap, I just did.)
2) Read The Pitt News, either in print on campus or online at www.pittnews.com
3) Listen to my radio show at www.wpts.org/live or 92.1 FM if you're in the 'Burgh. Tune in Nov. 4 at noon and Nov. 11 at 8 p.m. for my illustrious broadcasts of Pitt football at South Florida (yessss!) and at Connecticut, respectively.

Be good, yinz guys.