There comes a time...

... in the life of every sports nut in the world that may or may not generate the greatest epiphany of all.

You constantly check fantasy stats or your favorite team on your cell phone while your girlfriend (or boyfriend, no excluding the lady sports nuts) sits impatiently waiting for you to talk.

You pine over the major blow your NFL team suffered when its backup right tackle is released.

You get excited over a four-star recruit signed by your school's basketball team.

You make a Mickey Morandini joke.

You ramble off the starting lineup of the 1992-1993 Boston Celtics, awkwardly mutter a reference to Thurman Thomas or laugh at your own pathetic Rob Deer joke.

But no one else laughs. Maybe the crickets respond. But only if the rubbing of their wings symbolizes a response.

Face it, buddy. You are a sports nerd.

There's nothing wrong with it. But really, clean the confectionary sugar from the miniature powdered doughnut you devoured during the fourth inning of the Royals-Devil Rays game off your battered polo shirt.

There are a few ways to counter this problem:

1) Spend a weekend without watching any sports.

-- After recent completion of my third year at Pitt, I spent six days in Denver. The only sporting event I even sniffed was the Rockies-Braves game. It was perfect. I watched countless MTV reality shows, the TBS early evening lineup and ate lots of ice cream. I went out to eat with my dad almost every night and chewed on politics, current events and American foreign policy.

In other words, try to think about other things than sports. Separate yourself. You might learn something. Maybe even about yourself.

2) Don't manage a fantasy team for a season.

-- That way, you won't be worrying about JJ Putz or Charlie Bell. And you won't be scribbling stats on a napkin at a restaurant. If anything, there won't be any time spent figuring Scott Olsen's WHIP.

3) Talk to your friends about something other than sports.

-- Shoot the breeze at a bar or in your living room. Talk about the ugly girl in your friend's economics class. Try to talk about current events or some sweet beer you recently drank. Talk about anything other than Barry Bonds.

It's not necessarily bad to be a sports nerd. I mean, if you want, you can bloviate about sports when you can barely throw a baseball 10 feet until you're blue in the face. A lot of people do it. Heck, small papers in the middle of Pennsylvania might hire you to write a blog for them.

But if you want to fit into society, try one of three things I mentioned and maybe, just maybe, you can at least hide the sports nerd in you.